Acts 6:1-6 - Questions for reflection & prayer

As the Holy Spirit empowers the Christian community, new life emerges and new members are added.  This is a beautiful thing, and it is extremely important to point out that this is God's doing.  God is initiating diversity within the Christian community.  However, this also creates new tensions and new challenges.

Acts 6:1-6 gives us our first glimpse of a tension that will extend all the way to chapter 15, until the leaders of the early Church come up with a way to address the growing differences within the Christian family.  Some feel that they are being left out and that others are getting preferential treatment.  The Hellenized Christians feel they are getting the short end of the stick.

All of this is extremely relevant to thoughts and feelings occurring in our own day and age.  Across the spectrum, a majority of Americans feel like they face some form of discrimination.  But, it also points to an ongoing challenge we all face from time to time, the challenges that arise when there is change within a system.

Family therapist and rabbi, Ed Friedman, saw first the type of tension the early Church faced here in Acts 6.  In his own congregation and in working with families, he started to notice that regardless of religious or family differences, almost every "body" seemed to react the same way when faced with change.  They tended to get anxious and to revert to creating "us" against "them" mentalities.

Eventually, he ended up promoting several critical ideas to help his congregation and families move forwad.  Interestingly, what he says connects directly with this passage in Acts 6:1-6.

Idea #1, Homeostasis - Faced with a disruption in the family (good or bad), the family will instinctually work to preserve normalcy.  Either consciously or unconsciously someone in the system will try to keep things "the way they are."  We don't necessarily see this in Acts 6:1-6, but the whole story of Acts shows this strong tendency.  Many in the early Church were striving hard to make sure that the family didn't change too much, focusing on such issues as Jewish food regulations and circumcision.

Where in your own life are you experiencing change/tension in your work or at home?  Where do you see this happening in the Church and in our wider culture?  Who seems to be working to "fix" this situation?

Idea #2, Be Yourself (Differentiation) - Faced with growing uncertainty and anxiety in a system, Ed Friedman says that the biggest factor in helping the family get through this change is for a leader to emerge who can lovingly state who they are and what they will do to move forward.  This is called self-differentiation.  Self-differentiated individuals don't try to hide from the pressure or avoid the conflict.  They "define his or her own life goals and values apart from surrounding togetherness pressures, to say 'I' when others are demanding 'you' and 'we.'" (Friedman, 27).

We see this modeled wonderfully by the apostles, who - when faced with this tension in the system - claim their own life-goal and value, "It is not right that we should neglect the word of God to wait on tables."  

Inevitably, those who practice this art of self-differentiation can come off as insensitive, especially to the more anxious of the community who want the leader to "fix" the problem.

In the place of tension you are facing, what would it look like for you to self-differentiate?  How do you want to handle yourself, and what goals do you personally want to work towards?

Idea #3, Be Non-anxious - Loving leadership does not let the "anxiety in the room" drive the conversation or be the basis for decisions.  In this story from Acts 6:1-6, the anxious response would have been for the apostles to step in as the "fixers" and mitigate the family's anxiety by personally seeing that the Hellenized Christians were being taken care of.  Or, the other anxious decision would have been to send this issue down the channels of committees, watching the anxiety build as they tried to reach a consensus.  The apostles did neither.  They trusted that God was at work in the background and that a new way forward would emerge.

What practices help you remain non-anxious in a tense situation?  What do you think the apostles were doing that allowed them to remain positive, hopeful, and loving even in the face of anxiety?  Could it be that their habits of prayer, worship and trusting in the work of the Spirit gave them greater freedom to be themselves?

Idea #4, Be Present - While it is important to have a strong "I" and be clear in our own goals, it is also important to remain present to those in the community.  It is not helpful to state your own opinion while not listening to others.  This is narcissism.  It is even less helpful to simply cut ourselves off from others, especially those that we feel are antagonistic towards us.  This is called avoidance.  Being like Christ in this situation means continuing to be present and loving towards the family.  

We see this at the end of this story as the apostles are present in the laying on of hands with the newly ordained leaders.  They have listened to the concerns of the community, and they have heard the real grievances.  And, while they haven't tried to "fix" the situation, they have be present throughout the process to watch a new and beautiful thing occur:  new ministers and servant-leaders in a growing family.

How would you like to be present to your family or your colleagues at work this coming week?  One way to be present, is to schedule time to listen and hear from others over a cup of coffee or when it is convenient for them.  You might try something like this or simply taking a "be present, be calm, be loving" mindset to a particular person or situation that has become more challenging.