This past Sunday we went deeper into the story of Zechariah and Elizabeth in the opening of Luke's Gospel. Luke is drawing upon the rich history of God's surprising goodness to disheartened people - specifically to those who thought they were never going to have children (i.e. - Abraham and Sarah, Elkanah and Hannah).
Zechariah and Elizabeth's life has all of the characteristics of a life pleasing to God. They come from that special line of priests in Israel's tradition, and they are both accounted as "righteous before God, living blamelessly." They have so much going for them, except for this one glaring and gaping space of disappointment. They have never been able to have children.
We explored how this place of sorrow is common to all of us. We all have these spaces in our lives where we have an "expectation" and we have a "reality" that doesn't line up with this expectation.
We lifted up a cup and used that as a symbol of how this feels. When the cup is empty, we feel disappointment, sorrow, grief and isolation.
Sometimes these "spaces of emptiness" are minor things, little disappointments we suffer in our day like a conversation that didn't go the way we intended or when our children are particularly trying to us.
There are still bigger "spaces of emptiness" that we face, mostly things that go on at home and at work that we carry with us on a week to week basis: different expectations of how our relationship with our parents would play out, different ideas of what our job should be like, or different views on what our marriage is supposed to look like.
Then, there are these even deeper and harder spaces of emptiness that we sometimes must bear on our own, like Zechariah and Elizabeth likely had to bear.
Zechariah and Elizabeth's life has all of the characteristics of a life pleasing to God. They come from that special line of priests in Israel's tradition, and they are both accounted as "righteous before God, living blamelessly." They have so much going for them, except for this one glaring and gaping space of disappointment. They have never been able to have children.
We explored how this place of sorrow is common to all of us. We all have these spaces in our lives where we have an "expectation" and we have a "reality" that doesn't line up with this expectation.
We lifted up a cup and used that as a symbol of how this feels. When the cup is empty, we feel disappointment, sorrow, grief and isolation.
Sometimes these "spaces of emptiness" are minor things, little disappointments we suffer in our day like a conversation that didn't go the way we intended or when our children are particularly trying to us.
There are still bigger "spaces of emptiness" that we face, mostly things that go on at home and at work that we carry with us on a week to week basis: different expectations of how our relationship with our parents would play out, different ideas of what our job should be like, or different views on what our marriage is supposed to look like.
Then, there are these even deeper and harder spaces of emptiness that we sometimes must bear on our own, like Zechariah and Elizabeth likely had to bear.
Have you ever had to carry a certain "space of emptiness" in your life - perhaps a particular loss of a loved one or the loss of a dream? How did it change your ability to connect with others? What helped you through?
We then talked about how the stories from Scripture are given to us not so much to "fix" our current situation, but to remind us of God's deepest character and desires. In these stories from the birth of Jesus, the message we hear overwhelming is that God desires to come and fill those who are hurting and who are empty.
In doing so, God shows us that biblical joy is a joy that comes to us as a divine gift in the midst of our sorrow. It is not something we have to go out and find or produce or secure. This is in contrast to the many messages we sometimes get from our wider culture which tells us that if we are unhappy or empty, we should go out and buy something to make us happy.
Biblical joy meets us in our place of sorrow. Consequently (and this is the hard part), all we can really do sometimes is still close to and aware of our grief and those "empty spaces" in our lives. Sometimes, all we can do is hold our cup and be honest with God about our emptiness.
This is counter-intuitive and counter-cultural, this enlarging our awareness of our grief. One quote even startles us, "Experiences of sorrow prepare for, and enhance, the capacity for joy" (Word Biblical Commentary on Luke) Or, to say it another way, some experiences can make us yearn for a deeper source of comfort than anything this world can give.
In his work Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Pete Scazerro talks about the importance of embracing our empty spaces and learning how to grieve properly. He includes the following survey to give us a sense of how open we are to letting ourselves feel grief:
Principle 5: Embrace Grieving and Loss
(rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 4)
1. I openly admit my losses and disappointments (Ps. 3; 5). 1 2 3 4
2. When I go through a disappointment or a loss, I reflect on how I’m feeling rather than pretend that nothing is wrong
(2 Sam. 1:4, 17 – 27; Ps. 51:1 – 17). 1 2 3 4
3. I take time to grieve my losses as David (Ps. 69) and Jesus did (Matt. 26:39; John 11:35; 12:27). 1 2 3 4
4. People who are in great pain and sorrow tend to seek me out because it’s clear to them that I am in touch with the
losses and sorrows in my own life (2 Cor 1:3 – 7). 1 2 3 4
5. I am able to cry and experience depression or sadness, explore the reasons behind it, and allow God to work in me
through it (Ps. 42; Matt. 26:36 – 46). 1 2 3 4
Another way we enlarge our experience or awareness of our grief is to "sit" with these stories and characters from the Bible. Read Luke 1:5-14 again. Who do you relate to in this story? Do you sense Zechariah's disappointment year after year as he makes his way to Jerusalem? What other feelings is he experiencing? Disillusionment? Despair? A thrill of hope as the chose lots again for the service? And what about Elizabeth? What is she feeling at this point in her life and as a result of never being able to have children? Bitterness? Defeat? Isolation?
Close by picturing the angel coming to you with news of hope and promise. What is the angel telling you this year? What message are you longing to hear? Take a moment to talk with God openly about your feelings and your desires going into this Christmas season.
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