I had my normal cup of coffee this morning. For the briefest of moments, I thought, "maybe this is what I should give up for Lent?" I could go without coffee for a month, and probably not suffer too much. I can't vouch for those I see in the morning. They might suffer a bit more as a result of my Lenten discipline.
If people are aware at all about Lent, it's usually this matter of "giving something up." The Christian practice is based in the wisdom that by forsaking certain "attachments" like chocolate or wine or jumping on Facebook we can become more aware of God in our life. There's a lot of value in practicing such discipline.
This year, though, I challenge you to give up something less tangible but even more important. This year, I encourage you to let go of the negative emotions that are creeping in and driving your behavior. Take up - instead - those things that lead to greater spiritual and emotional vitality.
Afflictive, Inflictive and Vitalizing Emotions
In his book Heresies of the Heart, Ryan LaMothe provides a good summary of three basic types of emotions that we can experience. They can be described as follows:
Afflictive emotions stem from experiences that overwhelm us or flood our world, such as when a close friend dies, we lose our job, or we nearly get into a car accident. Of course, extremely positive experiences can also overwhelm us, like a thrilling run down a ski slope on a bright, crisp, sunny day. The key here is just the "power" of these emotions that "pass like an evening storm that soaks the thirsty land" (LaMothe 6).
We want to be aware of our afflictive emotions because they can be so powerful as to leave us feeling like we are "stuck" or "depressed" or "overwhelmed." When a powerful wave hits us in life, we want to use this as a time to reach out to others, express what we are going through, and trust that the emotions will relent eventually. If you've lost someone in your life recently, you know precisely what it is like to live with these "afflictive emotions."
Inflictive emotions can also seem like they too arise from experiences, but they do not. These are the unhealthy emotions we hold onto, cultivate and nurture. Inflictive emotions can be described as the ugly junk that accumulates within us that ends up negatively impacting either our own psyche and soul or spills out into our relationships. "Dave," for instance has no way of processing his own sense of hurt or feelings of pain properly, so he "shoves his wife against the door, enraged that she has 'defied' him" in a "momentary" fit of rage that he "didn't see coming" (LaMothe 7). Or, "over a few beers at the bar, Bob and Jim share their hatred for Jews and blacks, feeling powerful, righteous and close to each other." They don't see themselves as racists or their comments as harmful, but they also don't realize that these inflictive emotions are arising out of places in their own lives that are unhealed.
Inflictive emotions are the ones we want to be particularly mindful of during the season of Lent. Instead of leaving us trapped, inflictive emotions lead us to blame, attack or point the finger at others as "what is wrong with the world." Inflictive emotions need "enemies" and lead to cycles of violence.
Unfortunately, this type of unhealthy emotion is on the rise in our world right now. Unable to deal with the loss of our sense of order or security or "the good old days," we point the finger at illegal immigrants as "the problem." Nationalism feeds off such inflictive emotions. It's unfortunate but not at all surprising that messages of white nationalism are on the rise.
But, let's bring it back to ourselves. What grudges are you nursing? What seeds of discord or jealousy or "righteous anger" are you holding onto? Are you letting it simmer in your relationships with your kids … or your spouse?
The easiest way to check for the presence of such inflictive emotions is to notice what happens when we encounter certain people. Does our blood pressure rise? Do you feel the muscles in your face tighten?
Lent invites you to use such moments to dig deeper into your own soul. What's going on? Where do you feel hurt, and how can you let God's love enter more deeply into these parts of your life?
Finally, there are vitalizing emotions. These are the emotions we want to cultivate.
Vitalizing emotions - as the name suggests - lead to us feeling alive, engaged, hopeful, and inclusive. This morning as I was praying, I got to hear children on the other side of the wall laughing as they made up silly words together. Their laughter was infectious, lightening my own mood and making me feel more connected to the world around me.
Not only do we want to back away from those activities and relationships that "inflict" harm upon us and cause unhealthy emotions, we also want to engage in activities and develop relationships that "instill" hope, peace, joy and love within us.
Lent isn't just about giving stuff up.
Lent is also about cultivating new habits and returning to those things we know will feed our souls - things like taking walks in the woods, enjoying a night at home with nothing to do, or going to a show with friends.
Plus, vitalizing emotions are critical for us as families, churches, and communities. "Vitalizing emotions are the glue that deepens and broadens our relationships within our families and communities" (LaMothe 8). These moments breathe life into our relationships and allow us to know that things are good. When we don't make time for the things that provide for vitalizing emotions, we inevitably feel stressed, lonely, and begin to lose hope. This is where many of our communities and families are today.
And it's because we're not making time for the right things. Instead, too many of us are carrying around the wrong things.
So, friends, take a moment today to drop one thing that is leading to some unhealthy "inflictive emotions" in your life … AND MORE IMPORTANTLY … be sure to do something today that will vitalizing your spirit!
Take good care,
~Pastor Wes
If people are aware at all about Lent, it's usually this matter of "giving something up." The Christian practice is based in the wisdom that by forsaking certain "attachments" like chocolate or wine or jumping on Facebook we can become more aware of God in our life. There's a lot of value in practicing such discipline.
This year, though, I challenge you to give up something less tangible but even more important. This year, I encourage you to let go of the negative emotions that are creeping in and driving your behavior. Take up - instead - those things that lead to greater spiritual and emotional vitality.
Afflictive, Inflictive and Vitalizing Emotions
In his book Heresies of the Heart, Ryan LaMothe provides a good summary of three basic types of emotions that we can experience. They can be described as follows:
Afflictive emotions stem from experiences that overwhelm us or flood our world, such as when a close friend dies, we lose our job, or we nearly get into a car accident. Of course, extremely positive experiences can also overwhelm us, like a thrilling run down a ski slope on a bright, crisp, sunny day. The key here is just the "power" of these emotions that "pass like an evening storm that soaks the thirsty land" (LaMothe 6).
We want to be aware of our afflictive emotions because they can be so powerful as to leave us feeling like we are "stuck" or "depressed" or "overwhelmed." When a powerful wave hits us in life, we want to use this as a time to reach out to others, express what we are going through, and trust that the emotions will relent eventually. If you've lost someone in your life recently, you know precisely what it is like to live with these "afflictive emotions."
Inflictive emotions can also seem like they too arise from experiences, but they do not. These are the unhealthy emotions we hold onto, cultivate and nurture. Inflictive emotions can be described as the ugly junk that accumulates within us that ends up negatively impacting either our own psyche and soul or spills out into our relationships. "Dave," for instance has no way of processing his own sense of hurt or feelings of pain properly, so he "shoves his wife against the door, enraged that she has 'defied' him" in a "momentary" fit of rage that he "didn't see coming" (LaMothe 7). Or, "over a few beers at the bar, Bob and Jim share their hatred for Jews and blacks, feeling powerful, righteous and close to each other." They don't see themselves as racists or their comments as harmful, but they also don't realize that these inflictive emotions are arising out of places in their own lives that are unhealed.
Inflictive emotions are the ones we want to be particularly mindful of during the season of Lent. Instead of leaving us trapped, inflictive emotions lead us to blame, attack or point the finger at others as "what is wrong with the world." Inflictive emotions need "enemies" and lead to cycles of violence.
Unfortunately, this type of unhealthy emotion is on the rise in our world right now. Unable to deal with the loss of our sense of order or security or "the good old days," we point the finger at illegal immigrants as "the problem." Nationalism feeds off such inflictive emotions. It's unfortunate but not at all surprising that messages of white nationalism are on the rise.
But, let's bring it back to ourselves. What grudges are you nursing? What seeds of discord or jealousy or "righteous anger" are you holding onto? Are you letting it simmer in your relationships with your kids … or your spouse?
The easiest way to check for the presence of such inflictive emotions is to notice what happens when we encounter certain people. Does our blood pressure rise? Do you feel the muscles in your face tighten?
Lent invites you to use such moments to dig deeper into your own soul. What's going on? Where do you feel hurt, and how can you let God's love enter more deeply into these parts of your life?
Finally, there are vitalizing emotions. These are the emotions we want to cultivate.
Vitalizing emotions - as the name suggests - lead to us feeling alive, engaged, hopeful, and inclusive. This morning as I was praying, I got to hear children on the other side of the wall laughing as they made up silly words together. Their laughter was infectious, lightening my own mood and making me feel more connected to the world around me.
Not only do we want to back away from those activities and relationships that "inflict" harm upon us and cause unhealthy emotions, we also want to engage in activities and develop relationships that "instill" hope, peace, joy and love within us.
Lent isn't just about giving stuff up.
Lent is also about cultivating new habits and returning to those things we know will feed our souls - things like taking walks in the woods, enjoying a night at home with nothing to do, or going to a show with friends.
Plus, vitalizing emotions are critical for us as families, churches, and communities. "Vitalizing emotions are the glue that deepens and broadens our relationships within our families and communities" (LaMothe 8). These moments breathe life into our relationships and allow us to know that things are good. When we don't make time for the things that provide for vitalizing emotions, we inevitably feel stressed, lonely, and begin to lose hope. This is where many of our communities and families are today.
And it's because we're not making time for the right things. Instead, too many of us are carrying around the wrong things.
So, friends, take a moment today to drop one thing that is leading to some unhealthy "inflictive emotions" in your life … AND MORE IMPORTANTLY … be sure to do something today that will vitalizing your spirit!
Take good care,
~Pastor Wes
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